Typical Lecture: (View a five-minute YouTube video over 'Discipline in the Classroom')
Prof.: Tomorrow, you will turn in a 4 paged, single spaced essay over the video you just viewed. Use your notes to describe the incorrect and correct techniques the teacher demonstrated and include the way you would have handled the situation. Then include your own created situation that must include a monkey; student's desk; irate parents; the Death Star and Satan. Also be sure that you set your margins to 0.5 inches and you use 11pt. Times New Roman font. All essays must be signed with the blood of a virgin--If not, I will deduct 2,000 points from Gryffindor.
You try finding a virgin on a college campus in 24 hours! Oh well, I still made the Dean's List!
This past year has defiently been an adventure! I never thought I would actually be moved out and slightly on my own at age 18. Sure my parents still help me financially, as well as my sister and other people, but for the most part I think I do pretty well. I have a swell job that is giving me tonsss of experience in my field, which is a huge plus!
I remember everyone telling me my Senior year of high school how much I was going to love college! I would make friends and memories that would last a lifetime! I would party like a child-star has-been! I soon found out that those people were slightly wrong.
****WARNING--THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH IS PURE OPINION---ACTUALLY THIS WHOLE BLOG IS----SO----DISREGARD THAT WARNING-----BUT DO TAKE NOTE*****
Yes, I made friends this year--and yes, we are most likely going to remain friends. I have made memories! They were not necessarily about college, at college or having anything to do with college--they simply take place during my college years.
No, I do not party like a child-star has-been. If that means eating ice cream for dinner, or using Twix bars as chopsticks while eating a cupcake for breakfast? Then yes--I party pretty hard.
I don't feel like I can make a decision about really loving college. On one hand, I love the freedom of being able to do almost anything I want, when I want! On the other hand,
"With great power, comes great responsibility"
-Uncle Ben
Which basically sums up why I do not have a pet rat yet! It is also pretty hard to do whatever you want, when your car begins to die a slow and painful death...#prayforturd
College can be a very confusing part of your life. Between figuring out how to deal with financial aid, buying books, buying groceries, changing lightbulbs, changing the roll of toilet paper, doing your own laundry, cleaning your room, making money, losing money, making friends, talking in public in front of a bunch of strangers, making a total and complete ass of yourself in front of everybody...etc. etc.! But, it doesn't all suck.
On the bright side you can watch all the horror, gory, scary movies you want, and be able to sleep by yourself at night. Wants the magical antedote?
Answer: Look at your bank account everyday
If you are concerned with the dreaded 'Freshmen 15', don't kill yourself over it. It's not like college kids actually care what they look like! I swear if I didn't have the job that I do, my closet would consist of hoodies, sweatpants, t-shirts and flip-flops. If you want to impress your classmates, just dress up like you have an interview. Or shave your head, so you no longer have to shower in the morning (which adds time to your morning routine...if you have one).
FINAL WORDS OF ADVICE:
Sleep is a need--not a want
Coffee is liquid crack, when made correctly
Red Bull is liquid speed---use sparingly
And finally,
GET A JOB!!
In case you were wondering why this blog is titled, "#PrayForTurd", it is because my turd broke down last Friday. Turns out it has been leaking antifreeze. My injectors are also constantly injecting fuel into the engine due to a broken computer. So please Pray for Turd!
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